10 New Year’s Resolutions for Evil People

Most people have difficulty keeping their New Year’s resolutions because they try to be better people than they are. Instead of pretending you are going to be better, thrive at your own evil self-actualization. Choose from one of these options, or make up your own!

Trump Announces “Trump University 2.0”

Trump University is the newest endeavour of Donald Trump in a career of shocking comebacks. Trump is vocal about his dedication to education and has committed to open a university to promote the American Dream to a new generation of Americans.

Archaeologists Prove Humans Evolved to Serve Cats

Cairo, Egypt Archaeologists have uncovered a new discovery in the evolution of humans in an unlikely place: cats. The missing evolutionary link that created the Great Leap Forward in human evolution was not stone tools or fire, it was servitude.

Nick Jonas, Unintentional Serial Killer

With fifteen fatalities in the USA alone, police and officials are working on their next move to secure Nick Jonas (23), formerly of the successful boy band Jonas Brothers.

Sister Act 3: Can’t Break the Habit

Coming to theatres in June 2016, Sister Act 3 takes the story in a whole new direction.

Vatican Seeks Royalties for Christmas Movies

Lawsuits launched by the Vatican against Hollywood’s misuse of their brand.

Canadian Political Dogs and Cats

It has been reported that dogs and cats have put their differences aside in the coming election.

RuPaul to Head New Sharknado 4

Due to the cult following of Sharknado, Sharknado 2 and the upcoming release of Sharknado 3 in July 2015, the inevitable Sharknado 4 has moved into production mode. The latest incarnation of Sharknado will have a specific twist – it will be lead by Supermodel of the World RuPaul Charles.

Three’s Company Star Power Deemed Not Helpful

A thirty-five year old debate still wages in small town Ontario. In 1980, the residents of Slopsey’s Glen were determined to put their sleepy town on the map. After several community meetings on how to best leverage the town’s marketing, it was unanimously voted that the town should change its name to be more competitive.

Canadians Change the Meaning of Victoria Day

Canada’s Victoria Day (known colloquially as May 2-4) celebrations were marked with a wave of change. The holiday, traditionally positioned to mark Queen Victoria’s birthday, has been the subject of a new focus.

%d bloggers like this: