Non-Agression Pact Is Only Aggressive Toward Canada

Russia and the United States of America have come together to renew a non-agression pact that seeks to create a new world peace by dividing up the Canadian portion of North America. Known as “The Great Handshake”, the move allows Russia to regain a foothold on the continent.

Bat For Lashes Confesses “Laura” Origins

Bat For Lashes’ song “Laura” is used for haunting moments in television. Known for its raw emotion, the song was used during Australia’s hit TV show Wentworth following the death of the main character. This was the last song written by Bat For Lashes’ singer/songwriter Natasha Khan for the album. She reluctantly recorded it having grown tired of writing piano ballads.

U.S. “Democrats” Announce Shocking Presidential Nomination

Washington D.C. The U.S. public was shocked today to learn who may be in the running for next president. To combat their reality stardom of Donald Trump, the Democratic Party has found a rock star to be their next champion.

Donald Trump Targets Tim Hortons

Washington, D.C. POTUS Donald Trump has once again taken to Twitter to voice his concerns over foreign invaders. This time Trump has his eye on Canada. To make good on his promise, Trump eyes a new border for his wall.

Wentworth: The Musical (2018)

The world’s favourite prison is debuting on the big screen in the fall of 2018. Wentworth: The Musical already has critics speculating about which of the ever changing cast will make the cut. The list is surprising.

RuPaul Stars in “Dragnado”

RuPaul Charles, Supermodel of the World, has completed preliminary negotiations on a new project. Building on successes such as RuPaul’s Drag Race, Drag U and RuPaul Drives, Charles is cashing cheques in all currencies for a new film: Dragnado.

World Shocked as Trump Linked to ISIS

Trump, while pushing the envelope of good taste, reasonability and morality in the United States, ISIS supporters know that it’s bravado. Like a Roman emperor, Trump is creating the conditions necessary for an invasion: divided public, lies concealed as facts, and an irreparable international reputation. Many are interested to see how the former United States will reorganize itself into separate countries once Trump is in power.

2016 Weight Loss Cure: Fabistula®

Washington, D.C. A new weight loss device was presented today at a news conference, that is poised to change the world of weight loss forever. Preceded by the highly popular LAP-BAND® and gastric bypass surgeries, the Fabistula is designed for those who want to lose body fat, but not deprive themselves of full flavoured meals.

Woman Shocked Her Photo Earns $1M USD on eBay

Flin Flon, MB – A Manitoba woman was shocked this morning to see that her photo earned her $1M USD on eBay overnight. Shelly Goodwill put up the auction for fun, and found a fortune in the process.

Theologians Baffled by Prophetic Image in 2015’s Final Days

Peterborough, ON – Theologians from around the world have been flocking to a small city in Ontario to see the latest prophetic image to appear. The image of Betty White mysteriously developed in the early evening of December 27th, 2015. 

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