Fictitious News

2016 Weight Loss Cure: Fabistula®

Washington, D.C.

A new weight loss device was presented today at a news conference, that is poised to change the world of weight loss forever. Preceded by the highly popular LAP-BAND® and gastric bypass surgeries, the Fabistula is designed for those who want to lose body fat, but not deprive themselves of full flavoured meals.

The Fabistula® (fabulous + fistula) was designed by surgeon Dr. Marvin Kelkis, surgical researcher and designer for John Hopkins’ University. The device took five years to design, and another five to meet safety standards. A decade later, Kelkis is looking to bring the Fabistula® to market.

“As a surgeon for the morbidly obese, I found that they all enjoyed weight loss from traditional interventions. What they lamented was the loss of quality of life due to food restrictions.” Kelkis noted as the driving force behind the Fabistula®. “I wanted to help people to enjoy the process of losing weight. I wanted to stop the regret that many had after surgery.”

The Fabistula® works by creating a drainage system for the gastric processes, other than the intestines. A tube is inserted through the skin into the stomach, and includes and on/off feature. Users of the Fabistula® turn the device on when they wish to remove the contents of their stomachs before entering the intestines.

“Users are still required to allow food to pass into the intestines.” warned Kelkis. “All bodies need nutrients to survive. The Fabistula® allows for the control of calories absorbed by the body when input can not be controlled.”

The Fabistula® is expected to be available as of March 2016 in the United States, and as early as September 2016 in Canada.

@fictitiousnews

@kylerichtig

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s