Fictitious News

Canadians Change the Meaning of Victoria Day

Canada’s Victoria Day (known colloquially as May 2-4) celebrations were marked with a wave of change. The holiday, traditionally positioned to mark Queen Victoria’s birthday, has been the subject of a new focus.

Fashionistas across Canada have been calling for a redefinition of Victoria Day. Rather than exhaling a long dead member of the British Aristocracy, these Canadians wish to change the focus of the day to Victoria Beckham. The members of VFVD (Victoria for Victoria Day) are currently organizing a letter writing campaign destined for Ottawa.

“Why would I want to celebrate a puritanical woman who loved etiquette and hated sexuality?”, one member of VFVD said in an interview. “I support Victoria Beckham for Victoria Day because I believe she highlights the best values of our CURRENT country.”

Victoria Day was created to celebrate Queen Victoria as the “Mother of Confederation”. What will we remember Victoria “Posh Spice” Beckham for? Is it an irony that yet another British figure was chosen for this Canadian holiday?

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